matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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