Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
