soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Why did my mother make you get naked?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
