did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Randomize
