barbara walters just said penis...
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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