she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
