I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Apparently you make a good broom.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
