Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
