I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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