Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
