You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize