I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
