3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
