i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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