Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize