Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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