So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
