Fuck appropriateness.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Randomize
