Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
