he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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