do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
she looked like the before picture.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Randomize
