she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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