I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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