He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
