butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize
