And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
