Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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