Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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