When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
