Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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