can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
