I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
