Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
