she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
im six kinds of drunk right now
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
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