dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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