Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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