somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
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