"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
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