AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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