just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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