She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
