We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
