What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
