why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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