HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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