i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
