Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
