hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
