I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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