can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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