hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Randomize
