The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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