K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
If its not for food we ain't going out.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
