I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
