Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Randomize
