I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
