He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
