i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
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