he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
