oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
