i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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