i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
