Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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