It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
