Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
