I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
