Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
