your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
