I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
My liver just had a heart attack.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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