Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
